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Monday, March 4, 2013

We are MATCHED!!!!

We are matched!!!! Peter and I are happy to announce that we have been matched with a wonderful birthmom and will be welcoming a BABY GIRL in April!!!!!!!

To say that we are excited is the understatement of the century. We are elated, joyous, anxious, giddy, giggly, peaceful and most of all happy. Peter has described our adoption opportunity better than anyone, "We could not have drawn this situation up any better." We are truly amazed by God's grace in this process. Just a few days ago I was writing about his hands in this all and they are truly at work in Peter and me. We are speechless at the incredible outpouring of love and support you all have shown. We had the opportunity to speak with our birthmom tonight and it has given us a great sense of peace. She is a remarkable person and we are honored to know her and begin building a relationship with her. Many of you who know have asked questions and expressed concern at all the unknown. Know this... Peter and I have all the answers to any concern you may have. We ask that you take peace in knowing that we are 100% confident in where we are and please refer to Peter's statement above "We could not have drawn this situation up any better."

As of now our birthmom is expecting a baby girl on April 22nd via c-section. It seems as though that date might be moving up a few days and we will have the exact birthdate on Friday. Peter and I are ready to book flights, accommodations, and begin what will surely be the longest wait of our lives. We are hoping these next six weeks fly by!! Please continue your prayers and include our dear birthmother in them. We are grateful to have been matched with such a beautiful soul. I will keep you all posted with information as we receive it! Lots to do!!!

Running the Race, Fighting the Fight and Keeping the Faith,

Peter, Barrett, Bella & Oakley

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Bigger work at hand...

Remember a few posts back when I posted, "Patience is a virtue... right?" It is rare that I am rendered speechless, or proven wrong (just ask Peter). In fact, I generally find myself to know the "right" solution to any situation I am involved in. And more than that, I prefer to handle things myself. Some might call me a control freak, however, they are wrong. I am stubborn beyond all manner of reason. Thanks Dad, for that very special gift. And to accompany my stubbornness, I was also blessed with the divine gift of blinders, which I guess, if we are honest, most of us have. In what I would consider a direct response to my Patience Post, I have had my blinders ripped from my vision, my stubbornness thrown out the window, and been left completely vulnerable; open to the vultures for ripe picking. Or in this case, open to the angels in their good graces and a miracle opportunity to finally see how God is working in me and for me. Allow me to explain...

It was not long after that infamous blog post that I recieved an invite from my parents to dinner at their home one evening. As this is not an uncommon occurance, and left me with the night off from dishes and standing over the stove, we graciously accepted. I had a work event that required far too much hand holding and spoon feeding for my taste and by the end I was tired. I headed to my parents home to meet my hubs and brother. Immediately upon entering the door my mother insisted I have a glass of wine... a strange request. Upon accepting the glass, my brother and I said, "ok what is going on?" This was not normal... To tell you the rest of this story, I must tell you this... My maternal grandmother passed away many years back, after a long battle with lung cancer. A few years after that, my maternal grandfather passed from similar complications after his lung cancer spread to his brain. I was saddened they would never see me get married, hold my babies, or, as was customary for them, have them continue to criticize my hair, makeup and general choices in life. They were a treat. But below the surface of their critque was more love for their family than I think we could have ever known... Fast forward to a few weeks ago, dinner at my parents... Mom explains that she received a phone call a few weeks prior from my uncle regarding a Life Insurance Policy that my grandparents had supposedly paid off not to long before their passing. As this seemed an unlikely situation, my mother did some research only to determine that it was legit. She told the company to split the monies into three checks for her and her brothers. Her next step was nothing short of miraculous. She took her check, and divided it in two. One for me and Pete, the other for my brother. For some time Peter and I have been back and forth with what to get for this baby. We knew the child could come at any time and for that purpose, we most definately needed a crib, and stroller. But what about those late night feedings? We had no rocking chair and of course the one we had fallen in love with was way beyond our price range. When some dear friends graciously donated us their crib, which is beautiful by the way, we had one thing off the list. Now, do we go with practical? or beautiful? This chair was incredible, a rocker, glider, and recliner! So fluffy and warm and perfect for the nursery we had started. But alas, we had resigned ourselves only a few nights before that the stroller would be the most necessary purchase, after all it came with the car seat and base for the car. We would surely need to get the child home safely, before we would need to rock him/her to sleep. We were ready to order the stroller the following week with money, my dear peter, had meticulously saved over the past several months. As my mother handed us the check, we froze. This money would cover the cost of the chair in full, shipping, taxes, even extra to cover a warranty. I had no words. There was nothing to say. A thank you of course, but does that really do the situation justice? My dear grandparents had unknowingly made a decision many years back, which probably seemed of little consequence at the time and yet now, it was going to fund the chair that I will rock my children to sleep in. The chair that will sometimes be turned into a bed during tummy bugs and fevers. The rythmic rocking and soothing sway will forever be a reminder of their heartbeats in our next life chapter. Three days later, we placed or orders and rode home in silence. For so long, it had seemed that we were on this journey alone, and rightfully so. At no point did we have any expectations of financial assistance. We made the decision to start this journey and were certainly not going to ask anyone to foot the bill on something that seemed unnecessary. Nice one God, Nice one.

As if that wasn't enough, just a few weeks after this moment of humbling, I went to the dentist. Just a typical cleaning and opportunity to be told about the importance of flossing. As I was checking out, many staff persons were asking about our adoption. My brother had been in only the week before and had shared some stories. Also, keep in mind that our town is typical of all in the south, if you ever took a misstep as a child, your mother knew before you did it. One familiar face spoke up and said, I know of a baby that needs a home here in town. I was taken aback, what do you say to this? I fumbled through some ridiculous response saying I hoped they found the right home. She continued, telling me that not only did he have a similar hair color to me and my husband, but, he was born on my birthday. Stop the presses. He was, what? .. I somehow made it to he car and then to a breakfast spot in town. I intended to grab a coffee before work, and bumped into my mom and Peter, meeting with youth before school. I shared the story and we all sat baffled at the amazing coincidence. But quickly, they moved on and off to work I went. I sat in my office, unable to shake the feeling that I needed to find out more. I called the dentist office and asked questions, shared our situation further, and began a journey. Two weeks, incalculable phone calls, late nights, paperwork, and more questions later... we are at a crossroads. The childs background is unsteady to say the least. He is only a few weeks old and in the care of our county foster system. There is very little I can share with you, except this... It seems the mom would be interested in working out an adoption plan with us, but the hoops of fire we still need to jump through to make that happen are only growing. When we finally contact the right person on the case, they said our paperwork looked good, but we might need references, and from the right people. Suddenly our minds started racing, who could we call... wait, who couldn't we call? The list was endless, friends, family, community members, church members... These people who all along have said, tell me what I can do, I want to help. While their voices were not silenced to us, we certainly were not going to take advantage of them and what was there for them to do? Yet again, Nice one God. We had been so consumed in completing this journey ourselves. We didn't want anyone to feel obligated to help, and yet they wanted to be involved. We had closed our eyes away from the community that was not only wanting to help, but wanted ownership in this process with us. I am constantly asked where we are in the process, or when I will post again on this blog. You are excited, and happy for us. Peter and I had reserved any excitement or joy in the process for later. We might have seemed indifferent to the smiles and well wishes you sent, only because we can't be excited yet. We can't get our hopes up. Self preservation in its finest. But you, YOU have carried our torch of joy and rekindled the fire in our hearts that ultimately, this journey will end, or rather, begin, with a child.
For me, I knew God had called me to adoption. It had always been a part of how I would grow my family. Once I started the journey, I checked God at the door. "Thanks dude for getting me to this point and lighting the way, I will take it from here!" To which he then proverbially, laughed in my face. Not a-typical in our relationship. He has always found humor in my planning over the years. As for this situation, or opportunity, if you will. We have no idea what will come of it. But we do know of this great community we have and how indescribably blessed we are. It has opened my eyes to the great tapestry at work. I have felt all along, in control, ready to take action if needed. When they told me our homestudy would take three months, Peter and I finished it in 3 weeks. When we were told our profiles would take 2 months to compile information for, we finished it in 5 days. We have done everything there is do to in preparation. And while I sat impatiently wondering what the in hell God was waiting on, I was ready!, it is funny how much he has been working behind the scenes to paint the great masterpiece of our lives. The best explanation I can give you is below. I know there is a point to each piece of this puzzle, and each stroke of the brush is neccessary to reach the desired end, I cannot see the final outcome now, but I know when we get there, the picture will be more beautiful than I can imagine and nothing like what I had "planned."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXsQbzBQ6ck

A Song of Ascents.
I lift up my eyes to the hills—
from where will my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.


He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
He who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.


The Lord is your keeper;
the Lord is your shade at your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.


The Lord will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
The Lord will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time on and for evermore.

-Psalm 121

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Adoption Video

BRRRR!!!!! It is chilly! With the winter weather coming in hard yesterday, my office closed early. Peter has not been feeling well this week so I threw him in the car with the dogs and here we are at the lake! There is a lovely sheet of ice on the deck and across what was the yard. The dogs are cuddled together on the couch napping and I am attempting to start a fire. If only I had been a girl scout.

In adoption news, our agency made us a beautiful video of photos and portions of our birthmother letter. And you guys can check it out at the link below! Please feel free to share it with anyone you like!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwGZUMpgLgw

Hope you are all staying warm and out of the weather!
love,
B,P, Bella & Oakley

Monday, January 21, 2013

Check-In

Our counselor called to check in on Friday. No news, just a check in! She said our profile activity was very high which was great and they had received a request to get more information on us! Also our page views have more than doubled in the past week which is great. Not sure that it all means much of anything, but it does make us feel like there is at least some progress going on behind the scenes!

In other news, friends of ours graciously donated their crib to us! So, we definately have a space for the baby to sleep, clothes for him/her to wear, diapers, bottles, blankets.... come on baby!

love to all,

B

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Patience is a virtue.... right?

2013... holy crap we could have a kid this year. That is a bizarre thought. The holidays afforded me many wonderful opportunities; time with my family, time off work, parties, gifts, the list goes on. And yet, I did not have one moment to stop and rest. It seems that even though we chose to stay home for the holidays this year, we were still bouncing from one event to the next. In hindsight it was the best gift of all. I didn't have one moment to stop and think that this was the holiday season that I had planned on sharing with a little one.
When Peter and I first started "trying" oh so long ago I was sure the 2012 christmas would be one filled with taking on the role of Santa and setting up traditions for the family we would surely have. Funny... those moments when you realize God is laughing at your well thought out and incredibly detailed "plans." When we decided to move into the adoption route my heart finally settled and the stress in our lives melted away. I was able to spend my free time, formally focused on the detailed pictures inside my head of the perfect way to tell our families we were expecting, now in a more productive manner. I stayed up late nights (with Peter as well!) researching, formatting bank statements, writing autobiographies and somehow my new focus made more sense. Surely this is how EVERYONE should have babies. For some strange reason this system of proving our worth to governments, agencies and now the birth parent has seemed the most natural way for us got go about bringing a baby into our lives. With our profiles finally going live shortly before Christmas, there were parties to attend, cakes to bake and little time to feel like we were "waiting."
And yet tonight... Peter is off to the church chili cookoff and I am taking a Sunday evening to myself. Texting my sisters (sis-in-laws, but same thing) and almost feeling like there is a baby in the next room... at least there should be. I totally trust the process we are on and long ago gave my worry back to God. I know the time will be perfect when it happens. I know there is a greater plan for us than we could have ever made for ourselves. I know that... and still, on quiet nights, I can't help but look foward to the nights that aren't so quiet. The ones filled with tears and comforting, milk-induced baby comas and a kitchen sink full of dirty dishes because listening to baby giggles was far more important. I know that time is coming.
We made a baby bag with onesies and diapers, filled with all the fixin's of baby needs. Peter, being the wonderful husband that he is found the perfect neutral onesie for us, just in case we had to dash out the door. It is white with a green turtle and the phrase "Worth the Wait." Too perfect and also comforting, for I know that in the end this child will surely be worth every moment of wait.

Still running the race, fighting the fight, and keeping the faith,

B

Monday, December 24, 2012

Website & Home Study... DONE!

Well, I got on my computer tonight to write an overdue blog post and after checking my email, I now have more to share... On Wednesday, December 19th our web profile's went live!! Which essentially means we are now viewable to potential birthmothers!! We are so happy to have that huge leg of the journey completed. The adoption web profiles required a minimum of 32 photos each, and not only that, but specific photos ie. action shots together and separately, no sunglasses, no hats, and so on. It seems like finding 32 photos that describe your life and hobbies would not be difficult, however, it proved to be quite the daunting task. To have those profiles live and available to potential birthmothers is an amazing feeling. It is also somewhat strange to think that somewhere out in the world potential birthparents are viewing our information.
The second piece of good news is that our home study report is finished!!! This means that we are done with all preliminary paperwork! Hot Dog!

So with our home study done and our web profiles live the following scenarios could take place next. 1. We could be contacted by our Client Liason at ANLC with information that a birth mom would like to meet us via skype, or phone call. From there if she decides to select us as the adoptive parents then we are presented with an "adoption opportunity" and based on what we know of the situation we can either accept or decline the opportunity. If we decline there is no penalty, we continue on as normal until the next birth mom comes along.

2. We have elected to accept an immediate birth opportunity. This means that we could get a phone call any day from our Client Liason at ANLC telling us that a baby was born that day/night in whatever state and we can come right away to accept the child. This is a highly unlikely scenario, however, it is a potential option.

Please keep us in your hearts and prayers over the next few weeks. We are confident and at peace knowing that our part of the process is complete and we are right where we need to be. We hope you all have a wonderful happy, healthy Christmas!!

Much love to you all,

Barrett, Peter, Bella & Oakley

Monday, November 26, 2012

FBI Approval!

Ok so not that we were expecting anything different... but we did receive our FBI clearances today! Horray! Turns out Peter and I do not have any warrants out for our arrest, nor have we ever been arrested. Surprising? No, but still exciting to have one more piece of the puzzle completed. I spoke with our Media Consultant at our agency this morning and she will begin composing our web profiles next week. This FBI approval also means that our homestudy report is officially completed. Seemingly small things that make a big impact.

We spent the evening decorating our home for Christmas and rearranging furniture in the living room to accommodate a big beautiful tree! (coming on Saturday) We will travel to Boone NC on Saturday morning to select our tree and strap it to the car like the Griswolds. Classy. It is one of my most favorite holiday traditions as my parents and brother also join us in the hunt for the perfect tree. After a hay ride while they bundle and pack our tree we head to a delicious lunch at Woodlands BBQ and finally head home along to Blue Ridge Parkway to take some family photos... SO FUN! If you think this is bad just wait until we have a baby... :)

Wishing you great joy and little frustration in your holiday decorating!
B,P, Bella & Oakley